bandmember.. or not?

Be honest and direct, but compassionate. Easier said than done, I know, but if he's a real friend, he'll get over it. I've had to sack friends before and it's not easy at all, but if you don't you'll more than likely resent it/him until to you.

Sacking ia friend is about the worst thing that can happen in any band. Most of those that aren't in pace with the rest of the band already knows that they are holding the band back. Have you given him the speech start to practice, learn the songs, hone your chops and get on level with the rest of us or please leave? For what it's worth, that is a fair warning to anyone that they have to make an effort.

If you give him the boot, it's possible that he will be relieved that you took the decision. I once left a band of friends and they kicked their ugly shortly after I left. They're still friends today, even though it was an awful day when they told him that he had to go...

+1 sparkyness and Melker.

oh gosh dudes this is the hardest thing ive ever have to do! i once said somthing in that line melk but not really straight out... i guess its ta tjuren vid hornen right melk?
thx 1 billion for the advice, got more? keep it comin!

Verkligen! Grab the bull by the horns ... Painful and angst-inducing like nothing else, I feel you Fretlejs!
PM if you want to talk in swedish, I'm here!

im hijackin my on thread.. so shoot me.
can you really say it like that?

I'm clueless really, but I guess our english-speaking friends get the meaning of it anyway ;)

Let's get back On-topic before it runs out in the sand :)

So let me tell you there is nothing worse than sacking a friend. I had to do it a few years ago. We fired a stinky (best friend for like 10 years) and a twanger. They both took it really hard. It sucked, but it had to be done. Well needless to say that even though I will always consider him my best friend the stinky and I hardly see or talk to each other any more. But be honest and direct and it will be the best thing you can do. Or you could pray you get run over by a bus before you do it. I'm just saying consider it.

I don't know if the rest of the guys in your band are tight with your buddy or not, but I'd pull my friend aside and tell him what's being considered. It would stop just short of being like an ultimatum, but at least your friend would see it coming instead getting blind-sided and feeling completely betrayed in addition to being completely rejected. Maybe he'll get the message and start practicing. Or, maybe he'll quit before getting fired. Who knows, he might punch you in your face. At least you showed him you cared. A good friend will tell you things you don't want to hear. You should be that for him.

That's the way...

It'll all work out in the end...(hopefully)

I'd have no problems telling a friend of 14 years to get his act together. Man you've been friends for so long, it shouldn't be a problem. Of course give him his warning incase he might step up, but tell him he can be you Road Manager IE unload my shat man!

we are sure that we dont want him in the band no more. i dont think he can aprove so much that we wanna keep him.. its really mean i know. he never practice and i dont think he knows what rythm is at all.. bah its so darn hard!

I would think, he would expect this would happen. Just from what you tell me, he doesn't practice, thus is no effort into the progression of the band. Maybe, if you explain it to him as if he was in your shoes it might cushion the fall a bit.