A woman for everyone

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 6:50am

#1

BassPanther

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You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 01/06/2004

Posts: 2508

Wow...just...wow.

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All you have to do to be original is to actually have the balls to be yourself. Let it come out and it will come out differently. It is not hard to be original; it is fear that keeps us from being original. ~Oteil Burbridge

NEW SONGS UP, CHECK'EM OUT!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Enslaved-by-Apathy/196276143734704

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 7:06am

#2

DDanDevious

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You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.

Joined: 07/05/2006

Posts: 3360

Im having a feeling I shouldt try to look at this link at work.

rock.

DDD

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SUPREME EMPEROR OF THE BASK EMPIRE

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 7:20am

#3

BassPanther

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You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 01/06/2004

Posts: 2508

DDanDevious;129566 wrote:

Im having a feeling I shouldt try to look at this link at work.

rock.

DDD

It's nothing you can get in trouble for I don't think. You've heard of the term jailbait? Well this is the jailbait that gets caught.

__________________

All you have to do to be original is to actually have the balls to be yourself. Let it come out and it will come out differently. It is not hard to be original; it is fear that keeps us from being original. ~Oteil Burbridge

NEW SONGS UP, CHECK'EM OUT!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Enslaved-by-Apathy/196276143734704

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 8:46am

#4

JoeSteele

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/09/2004

Posts: 434

I'm not sure I'd want to marry a women who calls herself Chopper. :eek:

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 9:56am

#5

eyeteeth

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 01/21/2005

Posts: 1243

Quote:

Name: BrandiY

Age: 20

State: California

Convictions: Drug deal went bad, next thing you know, I got hauled off for killing a cop. I'm a good person.

Um... geeez... I ... uh... well... No... just, No.

Although this last line is kinda funny...

Quote:

Conjugal visits can sometimes be arranged as brief, out-of-prison furloughs. The first meetings for marital consummation are usually arranged within one (1) week of the marriage, and visits can last for up to four (4) days. How long the marriage lasts, however, is up to you.

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________________________ undergroundstudios.com myspace.com/eyeteethmusic dendura.com myspace.com/denduraband

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 10:18am

#6

JoeSteele

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/09/2004

Posts: 434

The FAQ section is a good read:

Quote:

Can I have more than one wife in prison?

All states within the country have laws prohibiting polygamy, but there is not a national registry that tracks such things. In theory, one could have an incarcerated spouse in all six of the states that permit conjugal visits, as well as one or more additional spouses who are not in the prison system. Such behavior would be highly unethical, moderately illegal, and recommended only to interstate truckers, airline staff, and those who have the ability to fully reap the benefits of such an arrangement. While we can not endorse such behavior, we would not be aware of it unless you told us it was the case, and we'd have to recommend you only select one of our Lifer packages in order to insure that none of them would be released unexpectedly

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 10:33am

#7

eyeteeth

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 01/21/2005

Posts: 1243

I'm not so sure I'm all the keen on hooking up with Stabberlla either.

That link is a hoot.

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________________________ undergroundstudios.com myspace.com/eyeteethmusic dendura.com myspace.com/denduraband

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 10:43am

#8

BassPanther

Offline

You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 01/06/2004

Posts: 2508

Wanna talk about freaks?

Quote:

Name: Fisty

Age: 25

State: Mississippi

Convictions: Rape, assault with a deadly weapon and rape again. Only takes three for life and threes a crowd.

Favorite hobbies in prison: I do protection in here and I also like to read and do some poetry. I have a job in the garden and I like that it's nice.

Why I deserve another chance: You've never known what a freak is until you meet a woman who has thought of nothing but sex for fifteen years without getting any. Give me this chance and your mind will be the first thing I blow but not the last.

*shudders*

__________________

All you have to do to be original is to actually have the balls to be yourself. Let it come out and it will come out differently. It is not hard to be original; it is fear that keeps us from being original. ~Oteil Burbridge

NEW SONGS UP, CHECK'EM OUT!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Enslaved-by-Apathy/196276143734704

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 11:00am

#9

masterofchains

Offline

You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 02/18/2004

Posts: 2253

ok......gonna go gouge my eyes out....

__________________

Quote:

BassDemon53-we are just the ugly brethren, no one else would take us!!
oldclefer-burn the hair off of it bro
Ho Li Cao- I said well i hear what really sounds like a tornado, but I don't see.... Oh, @#%$ it's across the %#$@ing street!

unofficial UBP archivist. :p
_____
Simple Dreams ||Future Blue Man Group Bass/Stick Player||Within Apatheia

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 11:12am

#10

BassPanther

Offline

You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 01/06/2004

Posts: 2508

masterofchains;129605 wrote:

ok......gonna go gouge my eyes out....

I'm sure staberella could help you out with that. :D

__________________

All you have to do to be original is to actually have the balls to be yourself. Let it come out and it will come out differently. It is not hard to be original; it is fear that keeps us from being original. ~Oteil Burbridge

NEW SONGS UP, CHECK'EM OUT!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Enslaved-by-Apathy/196276143734704

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 11:43am

#11

mcbanard

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 03/26/2004

Posts: 1384

Lassie wrote:

then a guy I dated turned up dead plus his wife.

Sexy

This one sounds like a winner

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Rasta Bass;136855 wrote:

I've played in a few rallys at my school with about 2000, but the biggest crowd was when we played in front of a Cinnabon. There were only about 10 people but they were all over 300lbs, huge crowd.

Gettin crunk take my pants off
-Bastards of Rap

Get all the BOR music here:Archives

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 12:14pm

#12

Dthraco

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 10/10/2007

Posts: 1214

Uhh...shows up as Porn at work.

But interesting concept. Conjugal visit for hire!

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 12:45pm

#13

DeepEnd

Offline

You're so ugly, when you stuck your head out the car window, you got arrested for mooning!

Joined: 12/05/2005

Posts: 616

:eek:

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Even better way to shut him up... let his girl friend sit on your bass cab and hit that big beautiful BOOM and watch her face light up... she'll never want a twanger again!-----BassDemon53

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 1:19pm

#14

Uncle Fat

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 03/29/2002

Posts: 1453

Good joke site... It really looks real. A few years ago, a friend told me about a real one (I think it was called jailbabes.com. This must be a take-off on that.

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 1:37pm

#15

DocLow

Offline

You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.

Joined: 05/13/2006

Posts: 4296

Heheh... This is hillarious.

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http://www.uglybassplayer.com/sites/all/themes/simply_modern/images/bg_p...); background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #000000; min-width: 750px; line-height: 145%; background-repeat: repeat repeat; padding: 0px; margin: 0px;>

DDanDevious wrote:

dammit Doc.

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 1:58pm

#16

Dthraco

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 10/10/2007

Posts: 1214

Oh boy! Gotta love Google Cahched pages. This is hilarious!!!

Some great quotes:

By marrying a convict inside the prison system you can rest easy knowing that the state is looking out for you, and that you will be free of the nagging, shopping trips and extra-marital oversight so stifling to your relationship.

Washington are the only places where you can marry an inmate, and then have regular sex with him or her.

Chuck, you reading this??? LOL..

Help, my wife is about to be released from prison!

What if I get sick of my prison bride?
With the many different packages available, you can choose the term of marriage that is right for you. You may wish a single partner for a life sentence, or you may prefer to upgrade to a newer, younger wife every few years. With our many options available, ranging from a few days with good behavior all the way out to till death do us part, you're sure to find the right mate, and the right duration, that's exactly right for you.

Hahahahahhahaa!!!

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 3:37pm

#17

DDanDevious

Offline

You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.

Joined: 07/05/2006

Posts: 3360

niiiiiice... hahahahahahaha

if you click the register now it leads to another even more offensive site!! hahaha...

im so going to hell.

rock.

DDD

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SUPREME EMPEROR OF THE BASK EMPIRE

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 4:25pm

#18

BassPanther

Offline

You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 01/06/2004

Posts: 2508

DDanDevious;129648 wrote:

niiiiiice... hahahahahahaha

if you click the register now it leads to another even more offensive site!! hahaha...

im so going to hell.

rock.

DDD

*Clicks the link and promptly vomits on the floor

FUCKER WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT!?

__________________

All you have to do to be original is to actually have the balls to be yourself. Let it come out and it will come out differently. It is not hard to be original; it is fear that keeps us from being original. ~Oteil Burbridge

NEW SONGS UP, CHECK'EM OUT!!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Enslaved-by-Apathy/196276143734704

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 5:00pm

#19

Nazman06

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/27/2007

Posts: 223

Holy Shit. I never clicked on the register now before..I swear I didn't know about that when I posted this..

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 5:12pm

#20

JoeSteele

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/09/2004

Posts: 434

DDanDevious;129648 wrote:

if you click the register now it leads to another even more offensive site!! hahaha...

[click]

...I'm sad now.

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 6:36pm

#21

masterofchains

Offline

You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 02/18/2004

Posts: 2253

by ppls post, I decide not to hit that link, thanks for the warning! :D

__________________

Quote:

BassDemon53-we are just the ugly brethren, no one else would take us!!
oldclefer-burn the hair off of it bro
Ho Li Cao- I said well i hear what really sounds like a tornado, but I don't see.... Oh, @#%$ it's across the %#$@ing street!

unofficial UBP archivist. :p
_____
Simple Dreams ||Future Blue Man Group Bass/Stick Player||Within Apatheia

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 8:06pm

#22

thechuck666

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 02/24/2004

Posts: 1109

dont laugh darth taco....we maybe gigging at the Pine Lodge Corrections Center For Women. i've got my eye on one and if she sees me playing in a band i'm in for sure!!!

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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

myspace.com/uglychuck
facebook.com/chuckboubille

Wed, 01/30/2008 - 4:22am

#23

mattnash

Offline

You're so Ugly your dog won't even play with you

Joined: 02/12/2005

Posts: 2015

DDD... you ^%$#&*!@&*%$#@!*&%#@!^

DDanDevious;129648 wrote:

niiiiiice... hahahahahahaha

if you click the register now it leads to another even more offensive site!! hahaha...

I CAN'T BELIEVE I CLICKED THAT... :eek:

MY EYES ARE BURNING:eek::eek::eek:

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Matthew Nash, Mac evangelist since 2007

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible -Frank Zappa

Oh, I am so homesick. But it ain't that bad, 'cause I'm homesick for the home I never had -Soul Asylum: Homesick

Wed, 01/30/2008 - 12:19pm

#24

Uncle Fat

Offline

If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Joined: 03/29/2002

Posts: 1453

thechuck666;129673 wrote:

i've got my eye on one and if she sees me playing in a band i'm in for sure!!!

LOL.. dude, she's incarcerated. I'm pretty sure you're gonna look pretty good to her either way.

Wed, 01/30/2008 - 1:24pm

#25

bassdemon53

Offline

You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.

Joined: 08/21/2004

Posts: 4917

Ok so... lets remember PG site guys lol... i can't view the site at work, lord knows I will when i get home... but just to make sure... anyone who visits the previously mentioned site does so of their own free will, if you are under any legal age... do so at your own risk! LOL

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Of course I'm into pain, the tattoos and jewelry are just souvenirs!-BassDemon53Be who you are and say what you feel... Because those that matter don't mind.. and those that mind don't matter.-Theodor Suess Geisel (Dr. Suess)Who you are speaks so loudly; I can't hear what you are saying.-Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Wed, 01/30/2008 - 5:20pm

#26

Nazman06

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/27/2007

Posts: 223

I would do Rosie if she bought me a new Musicman or a Fender Jazz USA, or some other nice bass ..I might even go down on it for a nice rig too

Fri, 02/01/2008 - 8:41am

#27

Diamondsedge

Offline

You're so ugly, when you stuck your head out the car window, you got arrested for mooning!

Joined: 02/11/2003

Posts: 975

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

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If I can't hear the BASS to hell with the melody-

Sat, 02/02/2008 - 5:32am

#28

kjt

Offline

You're so ugly, when you stuck your head out the car window, you got arrested for mooning!

Joined: 08/15/2003

Posts: 584

Im In Love

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The older I get ,the better I was

Sat, 02/02/2008 - 1:18pm

#29

martyman

Offline

You're so ugly, when you stuck your head out the car window, you got arrested for mooning!

Joined: 12/08/2005

Posts: 570

My mom told me when I was a teenager that I didn't need to worry about the boys beating me up, its the girls that are always more violent and do other worse things.

__________________

Quote:

why do people do this!?!?!?!?!

what the hell is wrong with these idiots!?!?!

why not just play your bass a lot and care for it or the next 20 years and then it will truly look played and broken in.

poor bass is right.

Quote:

Thu, 02/07/2008 - 2:42pm

#30

Ho Li Cao

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/02/2008

Posts: 386

After the click

I went further and deeper into the other site. I found this review and decided to post it here, since I figured (hopefully rightly) that most of you closed the window at first sight. I did it for you, my fellow uglies, and willingly made the sacrifice for the betterment of us all.

Musky is an understatement, this perfume is simply thick. Not only in texture, which it is to suspicious degrees, but also in terms of total potency, which is almost as alarming. When I say alarming, don't be alarmed, my wife wears it, and she and I agree it's alarmingly, even disarmingly, delightful. Though it does tend to stain.

– Time Magazine

Fri, 02/08/2008 - 1:36pm

#31

massrequiem

Offline

You're so ugly, when you stuck your head out the car window, you got arrested for mooning!

Joined: 03/15/2005

Posts: 767

OMG that review from the other sight is hilarious..... disturbing but hilarious.

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We are the musicmakers and we are the dreamers of dreams.

-Willy Wonka

My Band - http://www.myspace.com/taleamusic

Fri, 02/08/2008 - 3:35pm

#32

Ho Li Cao

Offline

You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

Joined: 02/02/2008

Posts: 386

Heh, I forgot I had the other site up in a new window. My wife got home and pulled up the internet, and said, what the hell is this?? So of course I had to explain and show her the first site that led to the second site, and her look never quite made it back to normal. I suppose she was wondering how incarcerated women looking for visits had led to Rosie O'Donnell in less than full dress and how exactly I had been spending my unsupervised afternoon. It's always the truly innocent that catch it in the nads.

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