Status messages - You're so ugly...competition

Your so Ugly that your mother wouldn't go to your school prom as a mercy date

You're so Ugly, the Smithsonian insists you're the missing link.
You're so ugly, even horse flies leave you alone.
You're so ugly, the Census won't count you.
You're so Ugly, Marine Biologists mistake you for a Blobfish.
You're so ugly, Warthogs think you look funny.

I won't take credit for writing these...

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!
You're so ugly, you could turn Medusa to Stone.
You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.
You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.
You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares.

i actually used a couple of those for the user titles eyeteeth.........

You're so ugly that you don't look very attractive at all.

I never was good at one liners...

You're so UGLY, the doctor slapped your mama when you were born. (courtesy of Rodney Dangerfield)

Credit me for this stupid one

You're so ugly your teacher paid you to miss school...
Oh I feel another one....You're so ugly Meg is scared to date you...(show reference)...

I simply must think longer and harder on this... (

In my case, it'd be you're so ugly, there's laws against it in 14 states

And people wonder why I don't travel anymore....

I knew I'd strike a creative chord there somewhere!!!
Way to go, lads!
I'm sure Jackie will pick the winning few and add them, right mate??

don't forget to set up a poll........

Okay I hear ya...
When I get enough responses, I'll set up a poll.
I want to see at least one response from all our regs before I do that.
Hey guys, is it awards time yet???
To quote DDD ROCK

You're so ugly, you have play your bass with gloves on

... you have play your bass outside
... your fellow band members wear paperbags.
... you have wear your clothes inside out.
... you make blind babies cry.
... you have play on a dark stage.
... you have make your bass from ugly wood.
... your bass refuses to use a g-string

You're so ugly the hospital called in HAZMAT to do the cleanup after your delivery. You're so ugly that your guardian angel rides in another car. You're so ugly you could scare the stitches out of Frankenstein. You're so ugly that when you cry, the tears run down the back of your head. You're so ugly your dog closes his eyes when he humps your leg. You're so ugly that your mom got a littering ticket when she dropped you off at school. You're so ugly that when you visited the haunted house, they hired you on the spot. And, last but not quite You're so ugly... The zoo called.  The baboon wants his butt back.

You're so ugly(ugli), because, they crossed your bass with grapefruit, tangerines, and and oranges.

You're so ugly that you have to clean your fingernails with ugly sticks. (Ugly sticks don't splinter.)

I wonder, Should I commission an ugly bass made with ugli (ugly) wood? Maybe, I need to vacation in Jamaica? It would have to be acoustic, and use gut strings? Make it really ugly, and make it a stand-up and the size, and tuning of a cello.

You have to wear a HAZMAT, everywhere you go.
Congress, passed a law, anyone who torments you can not be prosecuted. 
Your sweat is worth $10,000 an ounce because it kills the Hauntavirus on contact.
Warthogs post your picture on their wall
Warthogs worship you as an Adonis
bartenders warn the opposite sex about you.
Your momma slapped the doctor and sued your father.
blind girls see through you.
drug stores sell copies of your picture in place of IPECAC syrup.
Your name and picture are banded on A&B websites. 
You  give Freddie Crewger and Jason nightmares