Frequently Asked Questions About Ordering from Ugly Bass Player

Can I pay with a check or money order?
Nope.  Credit cards only.  If you're worried about security, don't.  We use the highest level of commercial encryption for credit card transactions, and credit cards are never stored on our web server.

I'm having trouble with the shopping cart and checkout process.  What's up?
Our shopping cart will not function correctly if you have cookies disabled.  Make sure cookies are enabled.  We've had some problems reported recently from people using Windows Millenium.  We're working on a patch for that.

When will I get my order?
Never.  Just kidding.  We ship every 3-4 weeks.  That's damn near once every other week, for those of you who can't count.  We use UPS Ground for all Continental US orders, and USPS International for International orders.  Ground orders take around 3-5 days to get to you after we've shipped them.  International takes longer.  You do the math.  For domestic orders here in the US, you'll be sent a tracking number when we ship your order, and you can follow the directions in the email to go to the UPS site and get the status on your order.  Someday soon it's likely that we'll install a tracking system here on the site, but for now... well....

Why do you only ship every 3-4 weeks?
This is not our day job. This is a small hobby business run by musicians for fun.  Shipping more than once-a-week is not fun.  Slade, the owner of UBP, designs, packs and ships everything himself.  Rest assured though, you will get your products and they will be of a quality higher than you expected.  As the business grows, we'll be shipping more often, but for now every 3-4 weeks business days is the best we can do.  Don't like it?  Sorry.

I don't see my country in the Country menu on the checkout page.  Why?
We had trouble shipping to some countries.  Some countries are known for credit card fraud-- meaning people used stolen credit cards to try buying from us (the cards were not stolen from us, don't worry!).  We've blocked those countries.  Others are just too expensive or too complicated to ship to.  If you're in a country that we've blocked that you don't feel should be blocked, you can plead your case to the UBP Webmaster.

How's your customer service?
Well, that's a really good question.  If you're a reasonably nice person with a legitimate concern, then we'll go way out of our way to accommodate you and take care of your needs.  If you're a bitchy pain in the ass, then it's highly likely that you will be told where to stuff it... and we'll try to tell you that in very creative and eloquent ways.  Customer service is done via email... by emailing Slade, the business owner himself, via our contact page.  Tech support is provided during normal business hours by the UBP Webmaster... unless he's surfing or on vacation.  Hey, what can we say?   You want us to lie?